road rage

For the first time since this journey commenced, I experienced a burst of road rage. Seriously, I need to learn how to discipline without getting wild-eyed and shaky, or else I'm going to pop a vein. In that heated moment, I tossed aside all thoughts of cultural appropriateness, and now I'm left contemplating the appropriateness of "cultural appropriateness" when it comes to disciplining in the classroom. Isn't respect for teachers a universal rule that transcends cultural differences? Perhaps it's just my desperate need to justify my very wild-eyed and shaky actions today that makes me believe this question is rhetorical. But then, perhaps anger makes me irrational. I guess this is all part of learning about myself, as a person and as a new teacher, for I never had cause to yell at anybody before. Note to self: I have a temper.

It's so tempting to use this blog to vent whatever anger remains - that is, whatever hot air that did not already exit my ears as I huffed and puffed around and around the school track this evening. But I think blogging can also be a great way of giving thy self a good, hearty pep talk.

So don't get me wrong, I do love teaching and I do love my students - every one of them. They're like my children! Okay, so we're basically the same age, but still... Rotten attitudes might continue to piss me off to no end, yet nothing will stop me from smothering all of my kids with (platonic) teacherly love. After all, there's no such thing as a "bad" student!! Right? Right!

Lidu love

Eva Cassidy on chilly days like this puts me in the mood to write. Her voice, the fog outside, my fuzzy pink blanket, a steaming mug of rose bud tea, and a craving for the ocean that won't go away - it feels right to begin autumn in this way.

In my last entry, I tried in vain to articulate the impression Lidu has made on me, but my toolbox of words makes such an attempt seem pathetic. And yet, that's all I want to write about.

I love the pack of jolly grandmothers who sit on the curbside outside of my apartment with their rolly-polly grandchildren, their bare baby butts exposed through pants slit for easy dumping (you won't find diapers around here!) I love Aunty Huang, the laobanr of the OK Restuarant my sitemate and I frequent almost daily, who slyly and affectionately pats my cheeks. I love the tall young noodlemaker at the Muslim restaurant who, while watching as I slurp down his tomato and egg concoction, tells me about his hometown in the faraway province of Qinghai, even though he knows I don't understand half of what he's saying. I love it when the lady who sells steamed buns will spot me coming up the ally and will get my order ready, nevermind the hungry crowd in front of her shop. I love my curious students, some of whom have shared their lives with me, making me feel like the big sister I've never been to anyone before.

I feel certain that my time here will pass quickly, waver as I might between being extremely busy, and extremely... not busy. I refuse to use the word 'bored'! For example, this past week was hectic - in addition to our classes, we went on a surprise day trip to Chongqing city (where we had what must be the spiciest hotpot in all of China), judged a speech contest, and met with students. Next week, though, I'll be doing absolutely nothing, as of yet, anyway. Next week is the start of the National Holiday. New China will be 60 years old, a celebration worthy of an entire week without classes! :) Because new volunteers aren't allowed to travel for the first three months, I'll be hanging around Lidu, looking for more things to fall in love with. =)

xiuxi no more!

HO brah it's been a long time since I've written on here (and sadly, it's been just as long since I've used pidgin.) I won't waste blogospace listing my lame excuses, of which I have too many. Instead, let me simply declare that the xiuxi-ing is officially pau! In other words, da break stay ovah. :)

I've been in Lidu - a tiny farming community just a little ways from the famed River Town - for about a month now. It's gritty, remote and the weather is temperamental, but this is all part of what makes Lidu so charming. I love Lidu with a fierce loyalty, and in my mind, it rivals only Hilo, which, strangely, is also gritty, remote and plauged by temperamental weather. ... Perhaps I am also gritty, remote and temperamental? Hmm.

Ah shucks, I must end this now because my site mate and I are off to judge an English speech contest titled "Science Intelligent or Culture Smart." Our adorable students say they are just as confused about the title as we are, so we'll see how the contest goes! :D

brb!